The Law Religion of the Land

Hey Ted,

How do you feel about the separation of church and state? You’re from Texas (and we like Texas and Texans) and Texas appears to have an interesting stipulation on the books. Even though I know you know it, I’m going to refresh your memory.

Article 1, section 4

No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office, or public trust, in this State; nor shall any one be excluded from holding office on account of his religious sentiments, provided he acknowledge the existence of a Supreme Being.

It appears that you, Mr. Ted, and your state legislature want religion, albeit a family of religions, and law integrated. Good on ya.

What flabbergasts us, because we were clearly ignorant that such restrictive laws still existed in the U.S., is that there hasn’t been a successful supreme court challenge.

But one’s coming. We don’t know when, or how, or which way the Supreme Court will swing in the next twelve months, but rest assured there will be a successful challenge.

Therefore, because we truly like Texas and Texans, we Heysayers have been discussing is switching the Texas statue around a bit, making it a pantheistic limitation. If we were in the legislature, with supreme power, we would modify it a bit.

Article 1, section 4

No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office, or public trust, in this State; nor shall any one be excluded from holding office on account of his religious sentiments, provided he acknowledge the existence of multiple, equally endowed gods who roam the earth, all of whom have taken the form of dogs—or profess to believe in one Supreme Being.

This is much broader. Atheists are still out, but compared to the pantheistic dog lovers, they’re a nit.

We’ve taken it a bit further. We’re also in the process of creating 187 religions based on the different AKC breeds. However, we all know that those banished gods, usually more powerful (but ironically equally endowed) are sent to Koh Phangan, Thailand and forced to do yoga. But we’re creating a mutt based religion as well.

Not that we’re planning to run for office, but we wanted to relieve you of any concern for us Heysayers. We’re safe. Our company promoted religion of choice is pantheistic; however, Zeus is the chief. So he’s supreme. So you can relax.

Yours truly,
The Heysayer Team