We Are One!

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton gestures as she speaks during a press conference following an international donors meeting for rebuilding the Gaza Strip, in the Egyptian Red Sea resort town of Sharm el-Sheikh on March 2, 2009. Clinton called for all sides in the Gaza conflict to work towards a durable ceasefire and condemned continued rocket attacks on Israel. AFP PHOTO/CRIS BOURONCLE (Photo credit should read CRIS BOURONCLE/AFP/Getty Images)

Hey, Hillary. The key to a successful campaign is a good slogan. A straightforward one. To the point. Either original or classic, but it must be great. Slogans matters more even than your apparent likability.

Thank goodness, right?

So we did some research. We looked at you and the BO and your past campaigns, and we realized that derivative tripe like “Yes we will,” guarantees failure.

But you can’t base history on one or two elections. You have to go back farther. So we went to Wikipedia. They were nice enough to provide a list of US presidential campaign slogans. What we learned is that the successful slogans were the ones that looked to the future. Ahead. Out of our own pathetic lives to some other time, when someone else will change our lives for us. Those are the the slogans of winners.

“Yes we can.” “Hope.” You remember those, right? Those worked.

Yet, you are more than a slogan. You are running for the people. You are liberal. You are New York. You, Hillary, are the candidate for all the people. You stand with us. With ALL of us.

So we came up with something for you, and we really like it.

“We are One.”

Simple. Pithy.

Beautiful.

We at Heysayer had a heated debate about whether we should even share this. It’s that good.

Think of the levels on which it works.

– “One” implies unity and focus. Most importantly, it implies winning.
– ‘We’ is the collective. It’s social. It’s liberal. You, Hillary, are bringing us together and making us whole.
– Combined—Wow. The collective of ‘We’ and the focus of ‘One,’ and BAM! It hits home.

The kids are going to love it.

But aren’t we all one already? Isn’t that self-evident. Aren’t we all energy?

Yes, Hillary you yogi, we are.

But campaign slogans aren’t about energy. They’re about manipulation and control.

So we’re giving it to you.

“We are One.”

And the Chant of Oneness to go along with it.

“ONE PEOPLE. ONE NATION. ONE FUTURE.”

That’s last one’s the kicker.

“ONE FUTURE.”

Boy will that drive the emotion home and bring in the uninspired.

You can’t just say the words, though. That’s why we capitalized them. You have to feel them, sing them, shout them out.

“ONE PEOPLE….ONE NATION….ONE FUTURE.”

Not only does it have some rhythm, but it harkens back to our pledge of allegiance without actually saying it. That’s why you start with “One people” and sandwich “One nation” in the middle. It’s there, people hear it, but it’s the middle child. And then you knock them over the head with “One future.”

The thought of the future, with a bright, dynamic leader, that’s what brings the positive emotion.

The hope.

Bring us together, Hillary. Move us forward. Together, as one. One future, together.

Crap, that’s good too.