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No Border Walls—BAJA!

Hey Don,
Forget the border wall.

Annex Baja California.

The whole damn peninsula.

Build golf courses and lazy rivers and hire out fishing boats with Sammy Hagar.

Create jobs.

So come to an agreement with Enrique Nieto.

And if he won’t agree to give us Baja, bully him into submission. Call him names. Whatever it takes.

Once we have free reign over Baja, legalize pot. Tax it. We’re okay with that, particularly if it goes to health care for the non-stoners.

Next, hire the cartels. Bring them into the Trump Empire. Make them security. Think how safe we’d be with all those AKs pointing out instead of in.

And then there’s the geography.

Heysayers like symmetry, and we like the new map. A long dangling peninsula in the west and a long dangling peninsula in the east, with Texas handing down in the middle.


Balanced. And fair.

Right up your alley.

And if you still want to build a wall, if it’s an obsession, build it around Tijuana. Make it tall and ominous with concertina wire on top and hybrid wolf-bears-raptors keeping guard.

No one in. No one out.

Like prison.

See, Donnie, walls work both ways. The bigger they are, the more people are trapped on each side.

We don’t want to be in prison, Don. Prison’s not fun, or so we hear.

So annex already. Let the coyotes roam free.

Let US be free.

Make it so, Don. Make it so.

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