Full Disclosure

OAKLAND, CA - AUGUST 10: (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Hey, Bernie,
We’re all about clean air. Heck, we’re even riding unicycles.

With packs on our backs.

But as our recent review of your tax return indicates, you are indeed a BOIYD. And that assessment is based on only one year. It’s interesting that you didn’t release five years, or eight.

We’re sure you’ve got gobs of reasons. We’re sure you’re a generous man and a big tipper. We’re sure you’re looking out for those close to you, as any good capitalist would.

So we’re wondering how you heat your home. We don’t know, but we do know that a large part of winter warmth in the Great 95% White Northeast is provided by heating oil, which is of course derived from petroleum.

Or do you have electric heat and buy only renewable energy produced out of state?

Probably, because of your environmentalist bent, you chop down half a dozen renewable oaks to heat your house for the winter?

Or all of the above. We don’t know the specifics.

You haven’t disclosed.

We would guess of course, given your preaching, that you’re 100% renewable energy, locally produced, no matter how efficient it might be. Because renewable energy isn’t about efficiency, it’s about protecting the environment.

#keepitintheground, right?

It appears from the outside that your hashtag only applies to the U.S. producers and not to the Red Countries that produce massive amounts of oil that, along with their anti-homosexual laws, are exported throughout the world.

world-map-640p-2-2015-of-78-countries

So we came up with our own hashtag: #liveyourplatitude.

Usually, Bernie, you don’t use platitudes. Usually you’re angry and blaming and calling people names. But lately on Twitter you’ve become a platitude machine. You even pulled in the children.

That’s a softer, slightly less hateful, Bernie Sanders.

We like the softer approach.

So all we’re asking is for full disclosure.

And we’re doing it softly.

We’re sure you’re an advocate of disclosure.

It’s only FAIR that those who spout for action from others would first do the same themselves. And then prove it.

Wouldn’t you say, Bernie?

Disclosure is very Scandinavian after all. It might even be Texan.Your buddy Ted Cruz released nine years of returns.

Surely, you are stronger, more forthright and more honest than Ted. Therefore, we’d like to see the following:

• Pictures of your house (complete with its permanent windmills and solar panels.)
• Copies of all energy bills for all residences, owned or rented, for the past five years.
• A list of all of the assets owned by you.
• Copies of the tax returns for the past ten years.
• Photos of your fleet of EVs.

We feel it necessary to note that when we say ‘you’ in this regard, we are talking about you, your wife, your relatives and all business entities, domestic or foreign, with which you have or have had any association.

We might have to repeat that statement.

For full disclosure, we expect you to reveal the finances of all of those close to you.

Not that we don’t trust you explicitly, or think that you might be hiding assets out of the public eye, it’s about FAIRness.

We’re fair, Bernie, and excited, and we’re sure you are as well.

Pull those papers together and shock the world.