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The BOIYD Epidemic

Hey World, There is an epidemic in the United States. It’s an insidious disease. Unspoken. Like cancer in the 70’s, no one wants to admit she has it. It’s too painful, too fraught with self-judgment and shame. This is the pain of those who suffer from “But Only If You Do Syndrome”, also known as BOIYDism.

Few will even say the word.


To walk into a clinic and say, “Doc, I’m diseased. I can’t live my words unless someone makes me. Help,” would cripple even the strongest of people.

So it stays suppressed.


Similar to the way flu epidemics are more prevalent during the winter, infections of BOIYDism see the greatest increase in the summers leading up to elections. The more divisive the election, the more severe the outbreak.

This year’s is worse than normal and the insidious BOIYDs are out in force.

What Exactly is BOIYDism?

BOIYDism is a disease of the soul that produces loud, angry calls for action while simultaneously sapping the shouters fortitude to practice the action called for.

BOIYDism has existed for years. It’s prevalent among those preaching charity. A nice little example is Joel Osteen and his mega church and mega mansion.

Of course, the conventions will be full of BOIYD speak. Bernie will call on Free, Free, Free and Rights, Rights, Rights, while taking over 50k in tax deductions. That savings of approximately 15k he’s getting could be used to help fund some of his precious government programs.

Alas, it’s easier to tweet than do.

Why BOIYDism Is Insidious

As a practice, BOIYDs don’t say, “I will pay more taxes, but only if you do.” That would be social suicide, particularly for the wealthy.

It would be as if a movie star were to say, “I’m better than you, so you do it first. Then I’ll consider it.”

More common is the platitude filled call for action. Bernie is the champ, starting tweets with ‘We must’. As we explained previously, his calls for higher taxes while simultaneously owning two houses (as a family) and taking over $50k is tax deductions is pure BOIYD.

Yet the calls BOIYDs make appeal to our hearts, and our desires for a utopia. Equality for all. Healthcare for all. Free education. These are nice thoughts that require sacrifice by the most talented, hardest working, most highly skilled. For those who will benefit from this sacrifice, the platitudes are wonderful. The entitlement culture is reinforced and Bernie Sanders is tapping right into.

However, calling for the sacrifice is much easier than making it. If Bernie truly believed that providing money to government is the best way to utilize capital, he would be taking zero deductions and maximizing his payments.

Yet there is hope. Some are battling internally their BOIYDist tendencies. If we look closely, these examples can be obvious.


Matt Damon, with his blatantly BOIYDist MIT address, got as close as we’ve seen to admitting his own ailment. His speech was so inappropriately BOIYD that it served as a cry for help. His hypocritical attacks on the mansions of bankers was as if to say, Please world, release me from my hypocrisy, relieve me my own opulence, for I have sinned.

Sadly, though, coming out is extremely difficult. We don’t expect to hear much from Matt Damon on wealth. We expect him to divert to other topics that replace reason with emotions. Obvious topics include racism and guns. Meanwhile, safe in his denial, he’s going to promote his new violence filled Bourne movie.

And again, we just rewatched Good Will Hunting. We like Matt.

But he’s a BOIYD.

It is, however, extremely rare that we get to hear such an obvious cry for help. Frequently, the symptoms are more subtle, leaving plenty of room for public rationalization.

The resultant gray area is worsened by the shield of financial privacy in the U.S. This shield masks the true extent of the epidemic.

Hidden by Design

The United States is not Norway.

Norway is wealthy. The US is not.

Norway has oil reserves far above the needs of its own, small population. They are a net exporter. Even with our increased production, the US is a net importer.


Yet the BOIYDs, such as Bernie, cherry pick the nice without understanding the differences.

One big difference is that in Norway, taxes are public.

We do not jest.

Citizens in Norway can research their neighbors’ tax returns.

In the US that would be an abhorrent breach of privacy.

This privacy policy makes it difficult for non-government civilians to document the BOIYDist statements of the wealthy.

There is no verifying just how much in tax movie stars actually pay and how much additional revenue they bring in via undocumented perks. Much of their lives is financed by expenses. Food on set, massages, residences during shoots–all of these are expenses. Marketing for movies. Nice rooms in hotels. All expenses either paid for by the company or deducted from their taxes. Net taxable income becomes significantly less than what is advertised while real income is much higher.

Only lawyers and the IRS know the truth.

Safety in the Unlikely

“But Only If You Do” is used most often when the chance that the BOIYD will actually have to do what she says is low. This is most relevant for people who already are on the receiving end of services rather than the paying end.

However, the strategy works for the wealthy BOIYDs as well. Rooting for Bernie is an example. His odds were low.

Higher taxes are easy for wealthy actors to root for. First, tax increases won’t pass any republican led congress. While that may change, Bernie’s targets above 50% are beyond socially acceptable in the US.

Free college is another easy target. It’s not going to happen because the perceived value is higher with personal investment. Further, the administration costs, which are rising much faster than the salaries of professors and teachers, will rise as the available income rises. These are primarily government employees. If government mandates efficiency and lower costs, the administrators will scream and shout and created a political mess.

The less likely the event, the easier it is to preach for.

Rationalization Through Token Support

Well to do BOIYDs will often justify their positions as preachers by citing token support for their causes. Payments to specific charities are often mentioned when preaching for social services. A half-day at a free clinic, a morning at a soup kitchen or day with Habitats for Humanities. Even larger causes such as animal rescue facilities, for which the donation can be done in terms of a lease, thereby maintaining ownership and usage by the BOIYD but enabling a large tax deduction.

Photo opportunities, selfies, and twitter posts are ways that BOIYDs promote their token good deeds. With a slow release of the photos and multiple references to ‘when I was at the food kitchen,’ two hours of volunteer work can appear as to be a consistent endeavor.

Even when the effort appears large or particularly magnanimous, few of these causes are actually supported to the extent that any negative impact is felt in the BOIYDs’ daily lives. Nice cars and large homes are a minimum. Children are still able to go to private school. Organic food is often a must. If not organic, then Whole Foods brand is a minimum.

Any pain felt is replaced by the support from their fawning public.

Signs of Infection within Yourself and Others

BOIYDism is like staph. All of us, without proper diet and psychological fortitude, have the potential to become BOIYDs. Self-vigilance is a must.

Risk factors include:

    • Living in Vermont, or in any community lacking diversity of education levels and racial backgrounds.
    • Working in the entertainment industry, in any capacity.
    • Having a net worth over $1 million, or trust fund.
    • Having never experienced health insurance costs prior to ACA.
    • Living in a BOIYD haven, such as Boulder, CO, or any of the northern coasts of the US.

These life situations, often beyond our control, weaken our immunity and significantly increase our propensity for infection.

Some signs that the infection is spreading within the body include, but are not limited to, the following:

    • Watching CNN and believing it to be objective.
    • Reading (and worse, participating in) insular web communities such as the Democratic Underground.
    • Identifying yourself as liberal.
    • Supporting Bernie Sanders.
    • Preaching for higher taxes while minimizing your own. (ANY allowed deduction, no matter the size, qualifies.)
    • Using phrases such as “I am honest,” “It is unacceptable,” or “We must.”
    • Defining yourself by your faith.

The last one might surprise people. However, religion is based on dictated rules. It is very common within many religious communities to repeat these rules publicly without practicing them in private. BOIYDism is not restricted to the left. It is simply more prevalent.

What Can We Do

There are many options that we can take to both gird ourselves against this pestilence and reduce its prevalence in society. We offer only a few ideas because a full plan is beyond the scope of this document.
Suggestions include:

    • Implementing full financial disclosure for all religious preachers, Bernie supporters, and members of any of the entertainment guilds. Post the results on the front page of the Washington Post, New York Times, and Wall Street Journal, while simultaneously implementing a moratorium on comments by the Huffington Post and Fox News.
    • Travel domestically and abroad. (And stay, listen and understand. Visiting, once BOIYDism has taken hold, can trigger CogDiff, worsening the infection.)
    • Establish and maintain a friendship with a devoutly non-BOIYD friend. Practice open, non-religious discussions with this person.
    • Put a sticker on your mirror. “Practice what you preach, or shut the hell up.”
    • Become non-union middle class.

The last is the most difficult challenge. Our government has made reaching that level of disposable income and maintaining it extremely difficult. Recent taxes, such as the Obamacare tax, disproportionately target the middle class. Not only do the taxes reduce the amount of disposable income, but also they reduce the incentive to make more money.


We wish everyone luck, fortitude and stamina. The BOIYD threat is growing. The disease of BOIYDism is spreading. The poisoned are actively recruiting followers. Be careful. Beware. And live well.

1 Comment on The BOIYD Epidemic

  1. If you’re trying to be cute you aren’t. Consider that you like yourself more than the public at large. You are way too in love with your own thoughts. Problem is they are incredibly weak and not terribly interesting. Remember TLDR? Yea. You ramble. Endlessly. You might get over yourself a bit. Better luck next time.

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