Exporting the blame

May 18, 2016 Jon Seliot 2

Hey Bernie, The top export from Vermont isn’t cheese. It’s blame. You know blame, Bernie. You know it well. We watched your speech. You’re becoming the champion of the angry blamers. But even children know that those who rush to attack others, those who blame early and often, and loudly, are masking their own inner faults. You have heard of […]

We Are One!

May 17, 2016 Jon Seliot 0

Hey, Hillary. The key to a successful campaign is a good slogan. A straightforward one. To the point. Either original or classic, but it must be great. Slogans matters more even than your apparent likability. Thank goodness, right? So we did some research. We looked at you and the BO and your past campaigns, and we realized that derivative tripe […]

The Law Religion of the Land

May 12, 2016 Jon Seliot 0

Hey Ted, How do you feel about the separation of church and state? You’re from Texas (and we like Texas and Texans) and Texas appears to have an interesting stipulation on the books. Even though I know you know it, I’m going to refresh your memory. Article 1, section 4 No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification […]

The source of ‘FREE’

May 8, 2016 Jon Seliot 0

Hey Bernie, we love free. Man, is free good. Give us, give us, give us. Free. Free tuition. Free health care. All free. For everyone. Every … single … person. Because we’re all equal, right? So free for all of us. Awesome. So where does free come from? Did God create free? How about Zeus? Did it come from outer […]

Size matters

May 8, 2016 Jon Seliot 0

Hey Hillary, we just want you to know that we’re not going to use the accompanying image as the source of inappropriate jokes. We won’t joke about your husband, men in general, Corvette drivers or whoever it is that you’re going at in this image. So you can rest assured that we won’t go there. Really. Sleep well.

About that tan

May 8, 2016 Jon Seliot 0

Hey Donald, About that tan…and please don’t take this personally, because we really don’t care…but can you share exactly which spray color you use? Some of us would like to emulate you, or perhaps go as you for Halloween. Anything you can share would help. Thanks, The Heysayer Team