Hey Bernie Sanders, Why are you spreading this utterly false rumor that the United States is rich? Do you even realize that we’re in debt? According to the US Debt clock, our national debt is 19.3 TRILLION and counting. $59,555 per person. PER PERSON, BERNIE! That’s what our government has committed each and every one of us to: $59,555. And […]
Hey Seattle, We hear you’ve offered to take 85% of the illegal immigrants, house them, feed them and provide them medical care. At least that’s what we hear. We will say that 85% is a lot. Based on the Pew Research, there are an estimated 11 million undocumented immigrants in the U.S.
Hey Tim Cook, How’s NoCal? We know it’s your home. We know it’s the home of Apple. It makes sense that you like it. But you seem to like it a lot. You’re building secret facilities and plants and buying and leasing large tracts of real estate in Northern California. You’ve named your Mac operating systems after places in California. […]
Healthcare is a service provided by humans to other humans. Yet, we have some promising those services to others as a right. That’s the beginning of a very slippery slope.
Hey Hillary, We’ve heard a lot of hate lately for the Midwest and South. Perhaps that’s because we made a jaunt through the Pacific Northwest, along the coast — it’s beautiful. The folks up there, though, don’t seem too fond of the rural, even, sometimes, within their own states. And we wondered why. We started with a little research, as […]
Hey Bernie, We Heysayers are starting a quest for the mythical ‘FREE’. We are packing out packs, buying new boots and stocking up on oats and nuts. We’re going to dedicate every non-political, non-Apple moment in search of the mystical ‘FREE.” Thank you, Bernie. We have a mission. Our first plan was to start in Mexico, make it a coast […]
Hey Bernie, The top export from Vermont isn’t cheese. It’s blame. You know blame, Bernie. You know it well. We watched your speech. You’re becoming the champion of the angry blamers. But even children know that those who rush to attack others, those who blame early and often, and loudly, are masking their own inner faults. You have heard of […]
A 2012 CBO study found that government jobs pay better than private sector jobs. Why, we want to know.
Hey Cramer, Booyah. (Now I think that will be the last gratuitous booyah for a while.) We’re trying to figure out what the total compensation growth has been over the past few years. We get wage growth. We get employment cost. But meshing the two isn’t so easy. We’re going to try, because something’s definitely amiss. With benefits costs spiking […]
Hey Bernie, we love free. Man, is free good. Give us, give us, give us. Free. Free tuition. Free health care. All free. For everyone. Every … single … person. Because we’re all equal, right? So free for all of us. Awesome. So where does free come from? Did God create free? How about Zeus? Did it come from outer […]
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