Thanks, Tim, for Braving Another RED

May 21, 2016 Jon Seliot 0

Hey Tim, Dubai? Right after India? Really? Are you making a tour of countries with laws against homosexuality? Next you’ll be going to Saudi Arabia and Iran, risking execution. Again, we shareholders are appreciative.

The Quest for FREE

May 19, 2016 Jon Seliot 0

Hey Bernie, We Heysayers are starting a quest for the mythical ‘FREE’. We are packing out packs, buying new boots and stocking up on oats and nuts. We’re going to dedicate every non-political, non-Apple moment in search of the mystical ‘FREE.” Thank you, Bernie. We have a mission. Our first plan was to start in Mexico, make it a coast […]

Exporting the blame

May 18, 2016 Jon Seliot 2

Hey Bernie, The top export from Vermont isn’t cheese. It’s blame. You know blame, Bernie. You know it well. We watched your speech. You’re becoming the champion of the angry blamers. But even children know that those who rush to attack others, those who blame early and often, and loudly, are masking their own inner faults. You have heard of […]

We Are One!

May 17, 2016 Jon Seliot 0

Hey, Hillary. The key to a successful campaign is a good slogan. A straightforward one. To the point. Either original or classic, but it must be great. Slogans matters more even than your apparent likability. Thank goodness, right? So we did some research. We looked at you and the BO and your past campaigns, and we realized that derivative tripe […]

Careful, Tim, India’s a RED country

May 16, 2016 Jon Seliot 1

Hey Tim, You know homosexuality is illegal in India, right? In 2013 it became illegal again, punishable by up to 10 years in prison. But it appears only gay sex. So you’re safe as long as you’re celibate. We realize this is unsolicited advice, and it’s personal, and we apologize for that, but we considerate folks at Heysayer would recommend […]